one year into exile

...and i don't feel like i have life abroad figured out, like, at all.

the sunsets here are still so pretty, though.

dear friends,

i had planned to write to you about all the amazing things i’ve learned and discovered in our first year in spain. that was the plan, and there was plenty of amazing to tell you. i’ve gotten into a lovely new habit: every thursday, i sit down to share some things with you, usually about creative journaling. but with july being our official one year anniversary of moving to spain, i thought i’d create a little look back at the first year of leaving the states and moving back to spain.

and then this thursday.

this thursday, just two days after massi finished fixing some serious leaks in our roof here in the little casita in the gardens, we discovered another leak. this one, on the other end. or should i say: on the bottom side of the house.

coming from the general area of our bathroom.

a little digging and three, yes three, conversations with specialists, and we have discovered that we don’t really… have a sewer system. they just drilled down deep and stuck a pipe in.

i am not even kidding you right now.

and so, what was supposed to be a celebratory kick-off to the festa mayor (major festival) of l’Albi, we were instead legitimately freaking out about a huge project costing thousands of dollars to actually put in a working sewer system for our tiny home.

this after a year of delays, investments gone wrong, unexpected expenses, more delays, new problems, more problems, and more delays. more gone wrong. life here is beautiful but make no mistake: it is hard.

and then. and THEN! did there need to be an “and then,” universe? because we didn’t have enough hard in 12 months, a little leak at the side of the house showed up and turned out to be a huge problem. it was… it was a scene. one that will benefit us, i think, in the long run. not the problem but our response to the problem (well, the response after we got past our freak-outs. we’re only human after all). at the end of it, it feels like we are recentering, re-instituting weekly “office meetings,” refocusing. so inadvertently, the breaking point will be a benefit. i think. i have to believe that or we will both be seriously unwell.

so all that to say:

one year into exiting the states to start over in europe, we are seriously struggling. yes, we are having amazing experiences. yes, i still believe it will all be worth it in the end. we are as they say, beaten, but not broken. really beaten down though, honestly. whoever tells you that it’s so affordable to live in spain: just know that they are having a very different experience than others of us.

i don’t have an inspiring letter for you this week, dear readers. i have reality. that’s all i have for you today. facing reality, with a fight, a will, an absolute resolve.