antichrists, horsemen, and empires falling

not to sound alarmist, but i am alarmed.

this journal page of writing a song i’m feeling deeply with an expressive markmaking tool was a really good way for me to get those emotions onto the page, out of my body.

“​​…They knew, they knew, they knew the whole time
That I was onto something
The family, the pure greed, the Christian chorus line
They all said nothing
Blood's thick but nothing like a payroll
Bet they never spared a prayer for my soul
You can mark my words that I said it first
In a morning warning, no one heard…
….In a morning warning, no one heard
No one heard
Not a single word was heard
When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming
In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch," they're shrieking
When the truth comes out, it's quiet
It's so quiet”

-”Cassandra,” Taylor Swift (Tortured Poets Department)

I have had a sickening feeling in my stomach for 10 years now, watching Trump’s rise to power, and more specifically his rise in favor with evangelical Christians in America. Sometime in 2015 I first told someone else he sure did seem like he could be the antichrist.

I don’t think anyone took me seriously. Certainly, the evangelicals I knew didn’t. The march toward absolute power kept going, as if those of us trying to sound the alarm weren’t making a sound.

This song “Cassandra” reminds me of this timeline, as we go through the second week of the second term of Trump in the oval office. The first week alone brought a barrage of disgusting news. Every day it builds on itself: the cruelty, the dismantling, the chaos. Every day, the slow slide into fascism picks up speed, gathering more with it as it goes. It seems unstoppable, the antichrist and his four horsemen carrying out Project 2025 with a swiftness, to a divided public that will argue about it instead of unite against it. American evangelical “Christians” look nothing like Christ, instead swinging to the opposite, following their “antichrist.” I don’t even know why I put that in quotes: Trump literally is anti-Christ in every facet. Only time will tell if he is “the” antichrist talked about in the Bible, but he surely is anti-Christ and he surely has deceived a lot of Christians into following him instead of Christ.

We are watching the fall of an empire. You always hear about the fall, but what happened after other empires fell? What was the birthing of something new? What can history tell us about the futured, about the after-empire? I am trying to hold on to the hope for the birthing of the something new after the fall of the empire, but I admit that it is scary, and holding on to hope seems naive at best most days. This is how I am feeling from over in Spain, so I cannot even imagine how it feels to be living through it, right in the middle of it.

I do think more people are finally waking up to just how dangerous it was to let him back into office. But is it too late? Or will Americans surprise me and actually rise up in real numbers, in real unity, to create a powerful force against these fascist efforts?

If I had more faith in America, I wouldn’t have left. I am so glad now that I did. I am glad I got my daughter out. I’m glad I got my immigrant husband out. I’m glad I got *me* out. I hope more can get out. Because all I see for America’s future is more antichrists, four hoursemen, and empires rising to inflict so much harm before falling.

But America, please: prove me wrong. Show me you are capable of rising together to fight against this anti-Christ administration.

“When the truth comes out, it's quiet
It's so quiet”

post-note: this letter is a bit different than my norm- I really am working to create this space as a charter of our moving to a new life in Spain, to discovering beauty and sharing it. but as I have always said, paying attention to beauty doesn’t mean ignoring the ugly. practicing beauty is not an escape, but rather a way to keep us strong enough to keep fighting the ugly. so today, we are talking about the ugly. subscribers, i promise i won’t always be talking in apocalyptic tones. the world is wide and the united states is one of one hundred ninety-five countries. onward, animo, fuerza, amiges.